Lifespan Development

Development doesn’t stop at adulthood like I once thought; it keeps going. Lifespan development  proceeds by a process of resolving conflicts and overcoming obstacles. This means:

1. Resolving the conflicts between the teachings of my parents and what I find to be true. For instance, they used to tell me: ‘if mistakes can be made -they will!’ I found out later that this was a fallacy of mistaking what’s possible for what’s probable. Just because something is possible doesn’t make it extremely likely to occur. Now I can either decide to modify this teaching or reject it. That’s up to me. Sometimes it’s a good idea to err on the side of caution (that’s what I think they were really trying to say). It doesn’t do me any good to reject everything my parents taught me or get stuck quarreling about one thing or another.
    
2. Resolving differences between the way things are and the way I want them to be (or expect them to be). The direction I want to go in may not be the same as the one my employers want.
    
3. Resolving the conflicts between my immediate biological or sexual needs and socially acceptable means of satisfying these needs (courtship and dating for example).
    
4. Integration: Learning doesn’t stop after school -it changes. Now it’s more like a process of integration –accepting new information and modifying previously held beliefs. Clinging to previously held beliefs is a way of blocking development. Receptivity to the thoughts and ideas of others, without going instantly judgmental, is the first step to integration and ongoing development.